Last Words

Today is January 14, 2005. The 22nd will be the anniversary of my Dad's death. A lot has been on my mind lately about him. His birthday was also January 5.

One of my favorite ways to express myself and my love for the Lord is through writing songs or poetry. It is my time with God. Below is a song I wrote about Dad when he died. But first, some context. My dad had become a Christian decades ago, but as time passed he never grew close to Jesus. Didn't go to church and never was involved with kingdom business. Never took me or my brother to church. During the last couple of years of his life, he became very ill. Much of this was from a lifetime of smoking. He had severe emphysema. He also had two anyeurisms...both caught in time and surgically removed. One was on a main artery of his heart. This surgery, along with other ailments really took a lot from him. From this point on, his physical health began to fade quickly. Over the last year of his life, he was put in the hospital at least 5 times for pneumonia.

I remember being with him in the hospital shortly before he died. I was alone with him and I asked him, "Dad, have you been praying? Have you been talking with God?" What he said next was what I longed to hear all my life. He said, "Yes, I've been praying. Sometimes just sort of half way, but I have been praying."

I told him that I was proud of him and I thanked him for being my dad. I told him to keep praying even if it was just half way, because the Holy Spirit will pick up where he left off.

Later that same day my brother and I was in his room when the medical staff came in and told him there was nothing more they could do....Hospice would have to take care of him at home until he died. No matter how bad off you are, those words are quite shocking. He cried. I stroked his hair.

Below is the song I wrote called "Last Words". I've shared this with Greg Miles and a few others and I've always been grateful for their love and friendship.

Last Words

He said I'm sorry for the life I lived
Wishing I could do things that I did not
Wanting to take back a path from my heart
Will you forgive me and take...back the lost

He said I'm sorry for what I didn't give
The times that I could but chose not to spend
With a hurting heart or to hold a hand
I see all I missed, now I...need a friend

As the years disappear as precious time
And looking-back lives see all the regrets
Is there hope to ease the heart and mind,
Is it too late to turn and cry for forgiveness?
As life here floats away like a feather
Your last words can be your first...forever

He said I'm not able to make my bed
Hold a broken man's heart and keep it near
Will you fold my linens and keep them close?
Amazing grace how sweet the sound...to my tears

As the years disappear as precious time
And looking-back lives see all the regrets
Is there hope to ease the heart and mind,
Is it too late to turn and cry for forgiveness?
As life here floats away like a feather
Your last words can be your first...forever

Your last words can be your first...
Oh your last words can be your first...
Your last words can be your first...forever

Copyright 2004 Khris Robinson

Love is Extravagant!

Her eyes lit up as my mom, Bailey and I walked into her room at the nursing home. She masked the pain she was feeling with a beautiful smile of surprise. “Merry Christmas” “We’ve missed you” “You look great!” “Remember when…” all phrases that have been repeated for years, but still rich with meaning and love.

My 97-year old grandmother (Elizabeth Woodard), affectionately known as “Granny”, lay in her nursing home bed in Gideon, Missouri as we visited New Years weekend. My dear Granny. How I miss your homemade cinnamon rolls and chocolate pie. We showed up while she was in great abdominal pain. I know they’ve been changing her medication, maybe this was the cause…. After a few moments, we needed to call for assistance. I stroked her hair and told her I loved her and that help was on the way. “They” showed up and gave her something…we had to leave while the medical staff ministered to her.

But soon we were able to return and she began to feel better. Some day sweetie you will be in a place where there will be no more pain. It was a wonderful day to spend with her. She said she would die with a smile on her face because she knows she’s going to be in heaven. Thank you Lord for her life…she’s the one that led me to you.

I cherished the time we had to talk and share memories about our time together. We talked about a lot of things that have occurred in this world during her life (World War I, World War II, Korean War, Vietnam, Gulf War, Industrial Revolution, Technological advances, music, Berlin Wall, travels, camping…everything! Including the Lord’s blessings). Lord, I hope you have a place for Granny to fish! It’s always fun to watch Bailey with her. She and Granny have always been real close…like two kids playing.

It was painful to leave. I didn’t think she was going to stop hugging Bailey. She cried thinking she would not see us again. Love is extravagant! She cried softly, “I don’t want you to leave me.” She’s been without Granddaddy now for some 27 years. Never remarried. Her loyalty remains. Love is extravagant! I still feel her words clawing at my heart. Words of not wanting to be left behind. I still see my Grandmother’s frail, 97-year old body lying in the bed. Thank you Lord for blessing my life with hers….her life will always be a blessing to me...Lord, your sacrifice, your gifts and your love is truly extravagant!